After discussion with Karaj it is clear that I thanked Deborah too much. To show my gratitude it is only necessary to say ‘thank you’ once. Too much gratitude can be easily misinterpreted – especially in cross-gender relationships.
Karaj made me realise the danger of too much gratitude. Once I have expressed it there is no need to overdo it. Even if it does not reach the level of nauseating subservience, it will still distort the original message. It’s like everything in life – any more than just enough detracts from the quality and the genuine intent of the sentiment.
Continue further and unconscious games start being played and then I’m in trouble – and all because I wanted to show my gratitude. Just be careful.
In the case of Deborah I was very lucky because she is in a relationship. Had that not been the case I could be exactly where I have ended up many times before in my life – my inability to walk away from an intimate connection leads me into the kind of relationship which is unlikely to work out. This is perhaps the greatest lesson of the weekend. On top of all the lessons I noticed and appreciated, it is the lesson highlighted by Karaj which serves the greatest purpose.
The weekend was a close shave which serves as a reminder to me to be very careful in the future. I thought about it this morning and it saddened me slightly that I must exercise such caution with the people I meet. But on the other hand if I can ensure that I never again get myself in the sorts of mess I have experienced on numerous occasions in my life, then what on earth could be better?
Also, where I have written that Deborah helped me realise that I am a beautiful person, it was actually the situation which created that possibility. Moreover, it should be my goal to see for myself in every moment, alone or together with others, that I am a beautiful person. I agree.