Don’t Just Do Something, Sit There

Made it for breakfast again and then sat on the pebble beach for an hour or so listening to the waves and getting back to who I am after a weekend of consumption. I forgave myself for my indulgences which was a lovely feeling as I had started the day reprimanding myself for the intoxication and some elements of my behaviour.

It’s not that I was, in any way, out of order. It’s more to do with deviation from who I want to be. In reality however, I can be proud of myself and the progress I’ve made – the bashing myself up has to stop. Clearly, there is room for improvement in all areas, but I’ve made vast improvements already, so be happy and relax because I’m getting there and I’m always where I need to be. Moreover, it is possible to enjoy the ‘getting there’.

Sitting on the beach listening to the waves was a wonderful way for me to slow down and find my way back to myself. It helped me to make the transition back to my life as I wish to live it, as opposed to the indulgence of the previous two days. Mind you it was a cracking weekend.

I noticed, as I was sitting, how powerful my urge was to get up and do something else. I resisted and overcame that urge. This left me feeling calmer and more centred, as if I had slowed myself down to a far more relaxed pace. It left me feeling satisfied that I can overcome my impatience and that waiting for me on the other side is a whole new landscape of peace, serenity and beauty.

I left before most people had even got out of bed. I said goodbye to a few (Eric, Chiran, Elliot, Sonny, Aubrey & Kelvin) and got a lift to the station with a few others. It was the right thing to do and that tranquil time on the beach helped me to adjust so I could easily slip off back home. From start to finish it had been a wonderful time with wonderful people. Thank you all concerned.

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