Stop the Comparisons

6.20 A short program of exercises. Somehow I feel even more tired today than I did yesterday. I cannot concentrate very well – my mind is eating away relentlessly at the confidence I have built up in myself. I am still feeling negative about my life. It was great to see my friends at the weekend but I cannot stop comparing myself to them. I wonder why they are friends with me when I am not like them and offer little of what they seem to be looking for – I am failing to see the beauty of diversity.

[Karaj: Is that so?]

I wonder how they appear so relaxed and confident, whilst I feel turmoil and confusion. I feel accused when they ask me what I’ve been doing lately. Even the most innocent of questions can put me on the defensive. I am always looking at them and thinking to myself, ‘Should I be like that?’.

[Karaj: You were and you were not satisfied. Why?]

I am working hard to develop myself and they already seem well-developed people. It all takes its toll but there seems to be nothing I can do about it – the inevitability of these comparisons is unavoidable.

[Karaj: These are all your interpretations. Stop it.]

Do you like what you read?

You may also like these:

Conditioning Controls the Mind

6am E&M. I stuttered when the alarm went, but to my own surprise and simultaneous satisfaction I got up and...

A Lucky Escape

In the evening, Karaj, George and I dug the floor between the utility block and the conservatory (118 buckets). Karaj...

It Is What It Is

In 2001, during my recovery from back surgery, the physiotherapist explained, ‘You will have good days and you will have...

A Master’s Rules

The following list comprises Thich Nhat Hanh’s 15 Practical Ways To Find Zen at Work. I came across it a...

One Year, Three Retreats

When I began to write this review of 2018, I couldn’t see much beyond the two main experiences of the...

Search

Menu