Earl rang this morning to talk with me about a chance he has to attend a conference in Grenoble next week. The only stumbling blocks were the lack of a baby-sitter for his daughter and his perception of his wife’s displeasure at him going away for a week. He seemed enthusiastic to go, something which my time with Karaj has taught me to question. I wanted to help him but when Karaj appeared he scribbled some very helpful notes for me – one of which was ‘He is sucking you in’. I relaxed. I’d had a feeling at the start that he doesn’t need to go and I told him that he has plenty to keep him busy here and that if he really does want to create such an opportunity again he can do so easily – all he has to do is visualise it and with the support of the group we will make it happen.
Talking to Earl helped me further with my ownership of what I have created with the group. There is a very strong and powerful support network available to every one of us and all we have to do is to ask for help. Hearing myself tell Earl this, allowed me to begin to own my achievement, because it is through my hard work and willing that the group has grown in the ways it has.
I felt satisfied with my contribution to Earl. I told him that what he said reminded me of the Sicily experience with him because of his fondness for putting up barriers, one after the other, to make sure he does not succeed. As Karaj wrote in the note to me, ‘He should not go to Grenoble. He should spend six months sorting out his life’. I ended by saying to Earl that if he does decide to stay in England then he should not present his decision to his wife as some sacrifice made for her happiness. [Karaj: Excellent.]
Soon after that call Arun came down and we chatted in the garden. There were certain elements of my behaviour which were subordinate and pathetic but I also detected a firmer, more authoritative, more congruent side stirring under the surface. At the point where we had settled on silence, Karaj came to join us. There followed another discussion between the two of them which went round and round in circles. The essence of it was that Arun had chosen to walk her path with Karaj. Instead of choosing an enlightened being in India, China, Burma or Thailand, she had chosen an ‘idiot in England’ (Karaj’s words). She had done this because of what Karaj can offer her, yet she complains about the way he is with her. He never changes and it is that consistency along with his commitment to following his own words that she has sought out – just like the rest of us.
At home I spoke to Robert and Dev about organising a seminar on visions with Karaj. They are both interested. Robert was pleased to hear from me and told me how refreshing it was to hear my forceful enthusiasm and positivity. With Dev I talked about what the group can do for people – as I had told Earl this morning. Dev took the idea further and linked it with my vision of working in Germany. I can take what people want and help them make it happen. He also applied it to the group. We could invite people to spend a day, a weekend, a week with us and together we will help them to further their dreams.