At Face Value

07.30 E&M 35 mins. Karaj and I talked this morning about tangential transactions: the way he gets his message across to people by talking in front of them to another person. I told him he is also very straight with people – Robert for example. I am unable to be as straight. Karaj told me this is because I create internal aggression when I try, which then manifests itself outside. Robert is the same, which explains the initial tension between us whenever we get together.

In the evening Karaj gave me a lift to the station to catch my train to see Alex. I sat in Alex’s local, surrounded by his usual entourage. He has one wherever he goes. The faces change with time but the standard of the people doesn’t. Alex has an aura which attracts all sorts to him but he has no filters to sort them out or to protect himself. He specialises in rescuing people and encouraging people to rescue others. Once again he is hanging out with people who, through no fault of their own, are beneath his talents, gifts and abilities.

Faced with the prospect of socialising with strangers – albeit acquaintances of Alex’s – I knew the value of pastiming and that I would gain nothing by withdrawing and trying to raise myself above them – I’ve seen this in Robert and it is not flattering. As Karaj said recently, each human being has every right to be where they are. So I simply took everything and everyone at face value and enjoyed myself.

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