07.30 E&M 40 mins. Left home with a headache and feeling a little under the weather, but determined to keep on top of my resentment and withdrawal by staying in the moment and not drifting off into my daydreams of how I think the world should be.
My negativity showed through when I joined the men digging the pathway in the front garden with the thought, ‘Where can I fit in here? Am I actually needed?’ I raised this later in the feedback session and Karaj showed me another way of seeing the situation: a positive way. I had fitted in straight away and got stuck right into the work, shovelling earth into buckets between Robert and Karaj, even moving Karaj out of the way to do so. The thing is, I always fit in and I always play a vital role. So, be positive.
We all worked very well as a team to clear earth from the end of the corridor to the front gate. We laid a path where we had dug, fixed the gate, bought and planted various plants and shrubs in the new and existing beds, dug some of the utility block floor, and cleaned everywhere at the end. It was a day of activity which brought me to life and showed me how negative I can be and how positive I can be.
I have noticed my tendency to hang on to my negativity. I consider myself to be funny and entertaining in my negativity, which makes it difficult for me to let it go, especially as I see positivity as being less funny. This weekend, however I have seen what positivity can offer me. It is fun, rewarding, empowering, highly beneficial, healthy and fulfilling. It allows me to connect with people, relate to them and, by being positive, I enrich my own life too.