07.20 E&M 50 mins. Yesterday I worked with Karaj laying slabs in the far corner of the sunken garden. The weather was gorgeous and as I stood in the garden this morning I was fully aware of the change in season and the fact that not only had I survived the winter, I had done very well with it. The challenge remains, however, to be totally unaffected by the seasons. My balance is my success.
In the evening I relaxed and took a call from Dev. He sounded more down than I have ever heard him. I told him he was not doing himself any favours by not verbalising and that verbalising is all he has to do. I told him to relax and not to bash himself up but I also told him that his behaviour is no good to me and that each time he inspires me he disappears. I told him not to let me down again.
Today, Robert arrived for Easter having been unjustly thrown out of his lodgings in London. As the three of us sat together and Robert and Karaj talked, my initial reaction was, ‘Why is the world like this and why are people like this?’ In the past this has been the judgement which has kept me withdrawn and angry, but today I recognised it immediately and told myself this is just how things are and that all we can do is deal with whatever comes our way to the best of our ability. This is why prediction, planning and preparation are so important because it gives us a fighting chance when things come out of the blue. We must do all we can to remove the element of surprise, which the world exercises over us when we walk around in our own world.