I went with Sunil to visit his solicitor. The purpose (for me) was to support him in the meeting to clarify legal documents; to make sure he did not withdraw and stayed present, alive and assertive throughout.
What were the problems I was facing and how did I overcome them? Initially, when asked to attend, I was reluctant because I had work to do. I verbalised this to Sunil and told him that I will only join him when I know that I will not worry about the work on my desk.
[Karaj: Live in the problem. You do not have to do anything. You have to live through the problem consciously. In six months when you read this you will know what I mean.]
What was the outcome? Sunil was assertive, made his points clearly and was more alive than he has been for weeks. I enjoyed the opportunity to dress smartly, get out and about and be among people. I carried myself very well throughout the day and, in particular, during the evening’s supervision.
Learning points from the evening session:
- Don’t analyse my assumed arrogance. Just get on with it, take action and I will be told by the men whether I am arrogant. If I stop to analyse what I think I might be doing, I’m fucked and will make no progress. Use the group support. Take action – this removes the ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’. [Karaj: Important.]
- Vision – if I want to be ruthless then I need to be ruthless with myself. There should be no compromise inside myself. [Karaj: One procedure.]