It’s Up To Me To Do Something About It

Showered, packed and spent a final hour with Francis. Both of us are very satisfied with the way things have gone: we planned what needed to be planned, we got the project going, wrote to-do lists, verbalised, wrote the diary, found our own space, and relished each other’s company. I have never seen Francis so relaxed as he has been this summer, especially the last week or so. I too, am more relaxed about who and where I am, with a renewed motivation to verbalise, observe and to determine what it is that I want in life.

We predicted the onset of negativity and sadness as we return to our respective jobs, and spoke about just focusing on making it through to the end of Monday and then taking it from there. As Francis so succinctly put it: ‘Keep my emotions in check and get ME through the day’.

I returned to England with only a few of the indulgent, post-break emotions. I’d had a great time and now it was over. No reason to get down, yet still the emotions lurked.

At the house I greeted the (core) group, unpacked my bags, and then went off with Robert and Simran to see Simran’s sons in their dance production. I was impressed with the range of ages, abilities and also with the size of some of the dancers. It didn’t matter how old or overweight any of them were, they all danced and I was left with the thought that here are people really enjoying themselves because they have put their heart and soul into their pursuit.

In the evening’s supervision Karaj told me I had not been missed at all. That’s how key my position is in the house! I was not surprised. My emotional response was that it’s hardly a shock because all I do is cook and make the tea. There’s more to my job than that but it’s up to me to do something about it.

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