Targets
- Sweat in the garden – finally see off my slight fever
- Complete the Self-Healing Group (SHG) appraisal
- Lay paving on tunnel approach
- Talk loudly
What I did accomplish and why? (Achievements, Node, Contribution.)
When Karaj asked me to supply Calvin with the SHG questions I became self conscious of the other men in the room. I began to get nervous about making mistakes with them listening. I quickly snapped out of it, sat with Calvin and talked loudly and confidently about what he needed to know. It worked; I felt very confident and, once again, comfortable with myself. I kept an eye on Simran and went to check on Robert when he was outside alone.
After lunch Karaj told me what he wanted me to do. I took Dev and Ishwar with me to fix an extra length of angle iron to the RHS panels and made sure that they were involved, rather than do it all myself. In short, I issued orders and everyone benefited. I then instructed Calvin and Simran on what to do and did so with some authority rather than Child Ego State.
Towards the end, when Karaj came to me for something to do I was unprepared and could not give him any clear instructions because I did not know what work could be done. I verbalised this to Robert and he told me to relax for a while.
Throughout the day I was able to chat with the men, especially in the evening. The confidence I had built up in myself over the weekend, along with the improved projection of my voice allowed me to be an integral part of the team and, at times, I was the focal point of pastiming. My shyness was present but I did not feel uncomfortable being the centre of attention – a real improvement and an indication of what I can achieve as I become more at ease with myself.
In the supervision session I contributed when I could, rather than trying to contribute in order to impress or please (CES). As a result, my contributions were effective and I was an equal member of the team.
What I did not achieve and why?
- I was unprepared when Karaj asked me what needed doing.
- I did not support Calvin when he stood with nothing to do. I let him down by not including him in the team.
- I did not lay the paving – it had not been a number one priority and I was happy to concede the job to Karaj and Robert, especially as Karaj had empowered me to take charge of other areas of the work.
- I did not complete (or even start) my SHG appraisal. This had been a priority, yet I had missed the window of opportunity as we pastimed after the garden work, and I did not take it upon myself to create another one.
Learning points
- Be prepared for all eventualities. Have back-up plans and tasks in reserve so that no-one is left standing around like Calvin (and Karaj).
- No-one has the right to mess me up. If I am in a mess then I have done it to myself.
- Look out for everyone and make sure they are as fully involved as possible – this will benefit me too.
- ‘Never worry about the things you do – worry about the things you don’t do’ – Karaj