This is Karaj’s feedback to me for each day I worked during August, with his general comments at the end to summarise my work, behaviour and progress.
03. Highly participative, getting on with the job, still rescuing.
04. Judgements based on emotions, games, favourite victim position, justifiable Parent outburst.
06. Needs to talk more so that I know what’s going on. Felt used by Francis.
08. Assessment based on emotions; trying to follow procedures; pretty good letter to Francis to express the feelings.
09. Needs to get much clearer on why he contributes to people. Does a lot of work but no cohesiveness in his work in which he can see that all his actions are connected and have a focus.
10. Tendency to please others by contributing unnecessarily and feeling resentful. No checking of the consequences of his actions.
11. Feeling extremely tired, tendency to withdraw and not ask for help when appropriate. It was difficult to see whether he is withdrawing or giving space to others. At the same time carrying on with daily duties. Need for much more planning for future so we don’t waste resources.
12. Report on the status of the office from an emotional point of view rather than a factual account of what’s been accomplished, what needs to be done, and what I need to be concerned about.
13. Emotional reporting back. Similar feedback to yesterday.
16. Found him lethargic and taking comments personally rather than looking at his vision and the appropriateness of the comments in the context of his vision.
17. Allowed to be carried by confusion rather than taking charge of the resources, personnel and time. Needs to get away from feelings and feeling personally wronged,and onto the context of his life, work and relationships.
18. Still looking to get used to life. Life is life, circumstances will change on a daily basis and you have to cope with whatever life throws at you. No reporting of his work to me. High on emotions.
19. Needs to use observations to look at what he’s doing rather than having an emotional reaction.
20. Adapted Child in reporting, trying to impress. Not following procedures of waking me up at 07:30.
21. Tried to be in charge and from time to time has been successful in being in charge but then lapses into his emotional self and sucks a lot of energy. He is also not listening and behaving as if he knows it all.
22. Worked hard. There is a need for more communication which is based on assessment, planning and review. Very supportive.
23. Supportive throughout the day, preparing, planning and executing the tasks without emotion and, therefore, without drawing attention to himself.
24. Emotional response, no charge of the situation, no illustration of his responsibilities.
25. Helpful. Sometimes over doing the helpful bit and then feeling annoyed. Similar script to father.
26. Worked well, supported people, became anxious at times but was challenged and kept on working and learning what it means to work under stress without personalising.
27. Worked in a focused way in partnership. Sshowed enthusiasm, received the challenge is well and had a number of insights.
28. Worked hard, supporting and being supportive. Seeing what it means to work on one’s life. Sought clarification.
29. Fragmented day with lots of activities going on with many problems arising. Sorted each of the problems without emotional attachment. In the evening joined in the banter to support Priya in her withdrawal. A good day’s work.
30. Handled a complex day well with little or no emotion. Giving appropriate support. Again there were issues about personalising the to-do list.
31. Again, learning what it means to confront issues without emotion and personalisation. Worked extremely hard all day, supportive. Lost it a few times but recovered thanks to self-monitoring.
General Comments
- Has been confronting issues of personalisation.
- Taking things emotionally.
- Not checking in the fear of being mocked.
- Working hard, but in order to make progress he needs to be more active rather than emotional about stuff.
- Less theorising and more action.
- By being emotional he forgets his achievements and makes himself wrong.
- This behaviour leads to attention seeking rather than confronting issues.