Yesterday, Karaj and I worked hard all day to prepare for last night’s end-of-year meeting. It was a sociable event with a yearly review in the middle. Karaj summed up everybody’s year individually and then each of us summarised our own. He said to me that I have worked hard and that, after three years working together, we should try and make it ten. Simran was challenged for bringing ready-made custard for the dessert, rather than making home-made custard.
This morning, Dev left early for work. He didn’t seem to want to say goodbye. It’s the same at night; he seems reluctant to go to bed. In the evening, Karaj and I had tea with Shona, during which Shona talked about out-of-body experiences. Karaj said these are dangerous; we need to stay earthed. I had the feeling I’m happy where I am. No need to wish I were aware, because it would send me mad. Stay grounded and work slowly and steadily towards my goal.
I worked on my weekend appraisal and Ishwar’s work appraisal. I had asked both Simran and Ishwar to remind me last night about doing this work but neither of them said anything.
Later, I sat in on Michelle and Serena’s session and saw how Michelle creates confusion and annoyance by not being straight. That’s what I do. Also, we discussed the fact that Serena had not been invited to the end-of-year meeting. Michelle had verbalised it (in guilt) and we worked through it. Serena, a strong Sikh woman, would not have benefitted from the evening, and certainly not from seeing all three Sikh men behaving pathetically: Simran with his custard, Dev with no presence and Ishwar having no clue about his marriage.
Serena shared that she had made full use of last night, in a physical workout which she needed and would not have wanted to miss out on. So, from guilt and secrets, we moved to a place of openness where everyone could see everyone else’s benefit. Free from our assumptions of what people may have been thinking or doing.
At around midnight, Michelle started another game by asking for her appraisals back. She needed them, she said, because she couldn’t remember what she had done. In doing so she was not straight with me either, causing me to get annoyed.
Summary: a quiet day. Worked comfortably this afternoon and in this evening’s session I saw myself in Michelle’s behaviour and saw the simplicity of verbalising and talking things through.