Yesterday I returned from my trip to Australia with Peter. On the final part of the journey from London, there were a few Australians on the coach who were strangers to each other but who chatted with each other all the way. They are open and friendly. The English are reserved and closed. Who is missing out here?
The office and garden have changed, as I knew they would. It seems people have taken over the work and done a good job in my absence. Karaj told me to take it easy for a few days and gently find my way back to work.
Today I eased myself quietly back into the routine. I am relaxed and comfortable where I am, ready for the next stage of my development. I talked to Karaj about my thoughts from Australia. I spoke of how emotional I am and my lack of interest in my life, my environment and in what people have to say. I think too much rather than relaxing and going with the flow. My observation skills are poor. Again, relax. I’m too hard on myself. Relax. I am not proactive in thoughts/actions concerning my life/job. I need to know that my vision is being realised. Relax.
Karaj talked about me needing to move to the next level. Take ten days to relax and acclimatise and allow others to do what they have been doing while I have been away. Karaj and I are moving on. We will be going out together and doing the work i.e. developing people, businesses, organisations.
In the afternoon, Karaj, Dev and I worked in the garden. Karaj kept saying how quiet it was working with me, compared to working with the others. It’s something I take for granted and don’t recognise as a quality. This is what I meant when I concluded after Australia that I am missing out on the person I am and the qualities I have because I worry too much about who I think I should be. Fucking relax.
During the early evening I observed the preparations for the WSG. Everybody was busy doing my job. It was liberating and supportive to see. Ishwar, especially, has taken to the responsibility very well. In the group itself I was quiet but not withdrawn. I was aware of not losing touch with the proceedings. We looked at our need for strokes and how easily we go for negative strokes (-100, -1000), which give us instant results rather than patiently build up a reserve of positive strokes (+1, +10).