Push People In The Direction They’re Going

Michelle was challenged on her project preparation. Karaj asked whether we should continue to support her in this or forget it. My inclination was for her have a go doing the project on her own and then she will be clearer what she wants from us. However, I know that my energy is best used pushing people in the direction they are going.

Karaj responded that spoon-feeding someone is okay if they take the help. Michelle is not taking the help so that should be the end of it. She was told to reflect on what she is doing here. I had a headache during the opening exchange but felt better after we had discussed the issue.

Two hours later, I chatted with her and Kuldip, who has had a headache for two days. He is doing everything on his own, but when I told him this he did not hear me. Michelle has been reflecting and I let her talk. I was just about to get us back to work and – from nowhere – I asked her if she needed to work on a PC. I knew I had been sucked in and, as I helped her get set up on PC7, my only thought was that it serves me right for rescuing her.

In a later supervision with Karaj, Michelle, Kuldip, Shona, Dev and Simran, all the time was spent on Kuldip and Michelle. They are not following procedures/instructions. Kuldip walked off saying there’s no point coming here tonight and wasting people’s time. It was a childish response.

Imogen, Harriet and George, joined the rest of us for the Wednesday Supervision Group. There were three things tonight which highlight the essence of the group spirit: Imogen sharing her work plans with us; making a start on writing up the garden story, which was great fun; and Dev reaching out to support Simran in the translation of his letter to his sister. Simran’s letter was very moving. Written by Karaj, it summed up Simran’s life beautifully, without blame or judgement. Shona was on form tonight too; natural and very funny.

Imogen and Harriet took copies of Ishwar’s letter to his dad with them. This should not happen; material should only be released by prior arrangement, as there are therapeutic aspects to consider. Around 23:00 after the group had ended, Karaj, Kuldip, Dev, Simran and I sat in the sunken garden. Kuldip was challenged that he has not changed at all in the last six years. He gets excited like a child, and gets depressed like a child.

The final people left shortly before midnight and for a while I enjoyed the peace of having nobody here, before spending some time updating my to-do list. I felt tired but I knew that an hour’s work would serve me better tomorrow morning than an hour’s sleep.

Summary: A long day. Lots achieved but Kuldip and Michelle are holding us back. A gift to me because I have to deal with it, and I am. A lovely WSG.

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