The Paradox of Annihilation

Karaj and I discussed my questions from last night: What role does Karaj play? (facilitator); and why do most people not sort themselves out? (They actually don’t want to.) It’s the pupils who make the teacher famous. Karaj cannot help those who don’t want to sort their lives out (Arun, Michelle, Kuldip). With those who do, he uses the annihilation referred to in ‘The Way of Transformation’ to get to the core of the individual. Paradox. Those who want to sort their lives out are in the driving seat. Karaj has helped me to strip myself of my illusions; and there are more to come. His job is to show me, to bring those illusions to my consciousness, and get me to change my behaviour. This process is strengthened by our previous successes – our shared history.

Wednesday Supervision Group. (Karaj, Simran, Ishwar, George, Calvin, Shona, Michelle, Harriet and me). Ishwar’s progress in his work has to be created from the bottom upwards by doing his to-do list and keeping his work up to date and informing his boss. Only then is he ready to move on and grab the opportunities when they come along.

Kuldip and Robert still have keys to Simran’s flat. They ran away because they couldn’t handle the love, but the fact they still have the key means (symbolically) that the door is still open and that maybe one day the love contained in those keys might help them turn their lives around.

Michelle’s contract. Every one of the nine points she has written came from Child ego state or her own Controlling Parent bashing up her Child. It needs to be rewritten. Her indecision was highlighted too. ‘It depends…’ She is not sure what to do. (Answer: whatever happens she needs to come here). She has no commitment to herself.

We also had another example of Simran’s lack of presence. He was overlooked when cups of tea were made. And he said nothing about it. He was fined for this.

Summary: Very tired again but woke up when everyone arrived and the preparation began. I was energised all night. Read today about my fear of WSGs (from November 2002). How far I have come. Tonight was another success. I delivered my agenda items with confidence clarity and brevity and contributed throughout. Another success. Don’t get cocky.

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