At midday Karaj and I chatted. He is under a great deal of stress with the responsibility of his work and the clients. We need to keep things ticking over and, if we are around in 2004, then we can look at doing something. We are both tired but there’s not much we can do about it. The stress he’s under is to do with not having a plan for the future; which direction to go in. Everything else is going well. ‘We’re tackling cultural scripts for fuck’s sake. Doing very deep work.’
We had lunch at Shona’s. She and I chatted about my friend Peter’s advertising successes and about Shona’s flowers. She invited me to the cinema tonight with Michelle, with reservations about the therapeutic implications. That’s what Arun did when she invited me. There comes a point when we have to let go and trust the whole process. It is difficult at times but the recent weddings I attended have shown me I can take part in all sorts of activities, because the analysis is a firm part of me these days. Don’t get cocky.
Summary: A quiet day. Rested well and did very little, but still it has been productive, because I have rested and done little. Productive does not necessarily mean results. Think differently. I’m feeling better about where I am; slowly seeing how my impatience is undermining my progress. Karaj: ‘Impatience keeps you in script.‘