There were times I wished I’d never started. And there were times I wondered whether all the personal development work I was doing was even worth it. Of course it was, but doubts still surfaced. There have been confirmations along the way, like the feedback from a close friend, recorded in ‘No Longer Who I Used To Be‘; and I am also able to look back over my journals and see the extent to which the time spent working with Karaj has changed my life. But if I ever needed anything I could call conclusive proof that it was a good decision to devote myself to such an intense journey, it arrived four years after my training and will stay with me forever.
She smiled at me even before she had sat down. From that moment on, and for the next five years, we travelled together, our paths merging for as long as it took to give each other whatever we had come to give. We kind of knew from the beginning that it might only be temporary. At least, she did. But then she is so much more insightful than me. She is the kind of person I would never have met, had I not grown. And I would never have grown sufficiently to command her interest, had I not worked hard on my development. I will always look to her and smile because she is proof that it all works. She is the reason why the last five years have been the best I have ever known. She encouraged, supported and loved completely. She laughed beautifully and held intensely. She is everything the world should be.
Had I known, during my training, that such an inspiring, loving and beautifully simple relationship awaited me if I persisted, I would have been easier on myself. The fullness of the experience with her wholly justifies the struggles I had during the more difficult times chronicled in my journal. She honours them and wipes them clean with her closed-eye smile, and she empowers me to push on and create brilliance. And the very fact that life works out in such a way means future difficulties can be confronted more easily, because the reward for all the commitment, dedication and effort we put in to improve ourselves can be so beautiful. So beautiful.