Late last night we found the final piece of the jigsaw. It took us an hour to get there and was triggered by a line in the previous post, about which I was not satisfied. By the end of our conversation, that line had been changed and both Karaj and I had gained insight into who we are. We had moved knowledge of ourselves from our unconscious into our conscious awareness.
It began on the day before I arrived. Karaj knew he would be facing a very tough challenge the following day and wanted to phone me to let me know that it might interfere with my arrival. Something told him not to phone me. He listens to his intuition, so he left it. At the same time, I was cancelling an evening with a good friend back in the Netherlands because I was making such good progress editing my book and wanted to continue.
I arrived just after his most challenging episode yet and, as I listened, my conclusion was that he is okay. My luggage was heavy with four volumes of material from my writing. The first three were a complete set of posts from my blog as a gift for Karaj, and the fourth was the red-pen version of my book I had been proof reading for the past few days.
At this stage, everything was still happening on a subconscious level. Immediately upon my arrival things began to unravel, but it was only through our detective work last night that we made it all conscious. Let me explain:
Karaj’s professional and personal journeys are currently being challenged more than ever. When that happens it is easy to doubt oneself, but with me present he had very little choice but to face the product of his own work. I stood before him on that first day, a mature version of the man he had helped so many years ago. As I wrote on day one of this visit: ‘I am the acknowledgement and the embodiment of Karaj’s influence on my life.’
From day one I was calm, assured and clearly different to how he had last known me. I have internalised what he taught me and I live it every day of my life. Furthermore, I had brought written evidence with me: the volumes for Karaj and the manuscript, from which I read extracts affirming the quality of Karaj’s work. That is how I cornered him: my book, my blog and myself; every one showing him his undeniable ability.
By making everything – my training, his life, our work and this week – conscious, we have cornered ourselves and have no choice but to see how good we are. On day two of my visit, Karaj gave me permission to use his real name. He told me there is no hiding place for him now. He has to stand by his work and take ownership of himself. Unfortunately, due to the strict boundaries of this blog, I am unable to use it.