Spoiler Alert

Don’t read the previous two entries! Now I’ve said that, basic human psychology suggests that you are much more likely to read them, so let me explain what I mean: Those last two pieces (Still Working and Commitment To Yourself) are the final two entries of my book, Evolution By Natural Reflection. This is the first piece of writing I have done for over a year, because my focus has been on finishing and then (repeatedly) editing the manuscript before the book went to print late last year. This entry is, therefore, a simple piece to get the writing process going again.

The book tells the tale of my self-development, offering the reader the chance to reflect on their own life as they read. So if you want to know how the story ends, go ahead and read those two entries; but if you want the full story, it is available in a 650-page practical guide to personal growth. Here is an extract from the introduction:

Some people, when I speak to them about the experiences recorded here, express concern regarding the demanding nature of the development work I did in those early years. I explain it to them in this way:

When we raise children, there are times when we need to be tough with them. We have to set boundaries and teach them discipline; and sometimes we have to force them to do things they don’t want to do because we know it is good for them. Even when they throw tantrums, stamp their feet, and cry uncontrollably, we persist, because it is our duty as parents to act in the best interests of our children. However, there are many people for whom this did not happen when they were growing up. There were no boundaries, no discipline, and none of the tough love which is sometimes necessary to raise a well-rounded, well-equipped child. This means that any bad habits they picked up during their childhood – such as manipulation, game-playing, emotional outbursts – will persist into adulthood and affect the course of their lives and their relationships.

If, later in life, the individual chooses to address such shortcomings, then the approach is no different: tough love, discipline, boundaries, explanations, understanding, practice, and learning. Naturally, the work is harder for adults than it is for children because established habits and patterns need to be overturned; an undertaking which is further complicated because adults generally have sufficient intellect and experience to make the process unnecessarily difficult for themselves. They are more inclined to resist, than surrender. Everything that happened to me during the four years detailed here, had to happen because there was a lack of it when I was growing up, and because I was determined to sort myself out.

Although the book is not yet publicly available, anyone wishing to acquire a copy (€35) can contact me personally at jonathan@c-volution.nl. In the meantime, whatever you do, don’t read the previous two entries.

 

Related post: Three Years, Three Books

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