What if the entire world were your very own feedback mechanism? What if every thought and feeling you have, gave you information about where you are right now. What if every conversation, every person in your life, and every experience you have, told you something about who you are and where you’re heading. Would you listen?
The world constantly provides us with information we can use to monitor our position and realign ourselves with our highest purpose, whatever we choose that to be. The information is everywhere – from the subtlest thought, to the most intense experience, and everything in between. And perhaps the most fascinating aspect of all, which we will come to later, is the connection between our thoughts and experiences. But first, here is an exploration of the initial hurdles to effective feedback with which we began the seminar:
Feedback Angst (p.277)
This entry, from late in the second year of my training, highlights the difficulties which feedback can create. It describes the point in time where the group was having to get used to the challenging aspect of regular feedback sessions, By its very nature there is a confrontational element to feedback because if we want to grow and develop, then we have to address areas which many of us would rather avoid.
Instant Feedback (p.287)
Another example of the importance of feedback and the difficulties which have to be overcome in order to give and receive it effectively. Feedback is a skill which, like any other skill, requires practice.
Write Your Own Feedback (p.481)
I was asked how best to ask for feedback. The ideal way is to consider and offer your own feedback first. That way you empower the other person to give you their full and frank feedback (whilst also giving them an idea of the detail and quality of feedback you are looking for). In addition, you are much more likely to internalise what they say because you have thought about it first. Here is a paragraph from ‘The Pitfalls Of Trying To Fit In’ (p. 355), in which Karaj makes this clear to me:
In the evening I asked Karaj whether he has noticed a difference in me over the last day and a half. His answer was simple: ‘That’s Child ego state. What is your assessment and what are your criteria?’ I told him I’m trying to live in the moment and that not only is it easier than expected, it’s also a more peaceful way to live my life. There is no inner turmoil or resentment when I’m committed to the moment, and I find I am highly effective. He agreed. This is the way to check my progress: don’t ask people for their feedback, just give mine and listen to whatever comments are made on it.
All of the above entries refer predominantly to the feedback exchanged between people. But we don’t have to rely solely on others for our feedback. Every thought and feeling we have, every word we say, and every connection we make provides vital information about who we are. And, mind-blowingly, when we realise that the nature of each of our experiences is influenced by our own thoughts and intentions, then the whole process takes on an even greater dimension. It means that we create our reality (see the video below from 07:58). And we do it consciously and unconsciously (See also: ‘TS 5 – The Power Of Thought, Clarity & Intention’).
Therefore, if your reality is your creation, then everything you experience is telling you something about how you were when you created it. So, if you are not happy with what you are experiencing, go back and examine your original thought. Such examination also works with regard to your response to your experiences. Your feelings about what happens to you are created by what you think about what happens to you. If you don’t like how you feel, change how you think. Whether you alter the original thought or the resultant one, the power lies entirely with you.