It has been an issue of mine for years. I am always trying to prove myself. Karaj highlighted it back in 2003, yet still I seem to be seeking confirmation from others, validation that I am okay and doing well, when there is no need for any of it. Slowly, however, I am learning to be quiet and keep my own counsel. The silence allows me to be more at peace with myself and my work. It urges me to trust myself more, relax with who I am, stop projecting, and just be.
From that space it is easier to see the best way to proceed in any situation: Lead by example. A simple, three-word imperative to get me back on track every time I lose myself. It appeals to my idleness, too, because I no longer have to try and convince anyone. If people want to know, they will ask. Until then, I need only get on with my work.
It reminds me of a similarly forceful question which Karaj used to employ so effectively. Whenever we got carried away by something – a situation or an emotion – he would simply ask: What are you going to do about it? The two go well together because as soon as that question is raised, the answer is there waiting: Lead by example. If you want the world to be more loving, be more loving. If you want peace and quiet, embody those qualities. Just be whatever you want. For yourself. Without any desire to prove or change anything. It’s more than enough.