Guide
With the wealth of information available on this website, it can feel overwhelming when you’re not sure where to click. This page offers an overview of all the ways in which you can tap into the content and structure your own learning. Of course, there is no substitute for one-to-one coaching, so for more information on how that works, click here.
Blog
There are more than 1100 posts on the blog. They are divided into two sets: the Current Posts (from 2011 onwards) written about specific subjects regarding personal development; and the Journal Entries (2000-2003), which are my training journals from my own development process. The complete list of posts can be found in the Archives, where they are also sorted by category.
Additional information relating to the blog is available on the About page.
It is best to start with the current posts (2011-present), because they outline what is necessary for this work. The journal entries are an ideal additional resource because they provide evidence for the current posts.
Also, make use of the ‘Related posts’ listed at the bottom of many of the entries, as well as the other posts highlighted in the texts themselves. They will give you different perspectives on the same issues, or point you towards pertinent journal entries.
To get you started, there are links to ten of the most influential posts at the bottom of this page.
The List
There is also a comprehensive, structured list of over 100 posts which take you through the whole process of self-development and self-realisation. They are brought together in the blog entry, The List.
Random Posts
Click on the link Read a random blog post to generate a random post from all available entries. As you read whatever post you are given, find a way to make a connection with what you are reading. Doing this will help you to reflect on things which you might not otherwise think about.
Book
My book, Evolution By Natural Reflection, uses a collection of the most useful posts to tell the story of my four years of training under the guidance of my teacher, Karaj. The 450 journal entries from that period are interspersed with 109 current posts which appear 11 years after the relevant journal entry and complement the story perfectly. The book can be read in two ways: either as a complete story cover to cover, or as individual entries randomly selected. I have endeavoured to make sure that each entry offers insight into the development process, although some pieces have been included for the sake of the story.
The whole idea of the book is that, as you read the story, you apply the learning points to your own life, reflecting on your own behaviour as you go, recording your own insights, and shaping your own development.
Podcasts
There are a seven podcasts in which I read from the first 120 pages of my book.
Seminars
In 2016 I ran a series of 18 seminars which are summarised here. The summaries are an ideal place to start because they cover many of the subjects vital to this work. Furthermore, each summary contains additional links to other posts in order that you can deepen your knowledge. Where relevant, those posts also have page numbers from the book, so that the two can be used together. Each seminar summary includes a video (see below).
Videos
The seminar videos are available at the end of each respective summary, but are also collected together on one page here. They range in length from a few minutes to half an hour. Here is one video which does not appear on the videos page. It is an introduction to my work and talks about my teacher, my book, and my seminars; as well as the importance of seeing your progress, not having expectations, and taking the time each day to reflect and write things down.
Transactional Analysis
I was trained using Transactional Analysis (TA). There are a number of different areas within TA, all of which appear again and again in the journal entries. The main topics are listed below (with links to relevant pages or blog posts). Each topic also has its own category in the archives.
Ten To Get You Started
Here are ten posts which offer a fine introduction to the blog and the work. I have included the final paragraph of each post to give you an idea of what you will find there. Click on the title to read the full post.
1. Write Stuff Down
This all leads inevitably to an increase in awareness. You begin to notice more of everything. You observe how you act and react, and how situations play out differently if you alter just one aspect of who you are. The more you observe, the more likely you are to actively influence your own behaviour. But it doesn’t stop there because, fascinatingly, change also occurs without you even trying. The act of observation itself is enough to cause a shift. And you can set it all in motion by just putting pen to paper.
2. Make It All About You
There are people who wait for inspiration, thinking that’s how inspiration works. But those who know, understand that you have to work for it, chase it down, force it into existence. So, bend the universe to serve your purpose and reshape your world according to your vision. Make your goal the focus of everything you do. Talk to people about it and be on the lookout for ways to fulfill it. Then, at the end of the day, reflect on how much of your goal has been achieved and how it all happened. You may be surprised.
3. Be Kind To Yourself
Therefore, know that a light shines in you which, even when obscured from your own view, is visible to others. They see it clearly, and they wish only that you look after yourself in a way that enables you to see it as often and as brightly as they do. Such people are compelled by their very nature to honour your being, and to see the best in you even when your clouds hover above. Imagine being that person for someone. Aim high. Embody the qualities of love, joy and compassion. And then be that person for yourself.
4. Think Whatever You Want
Next time you notice your mind telling you things about yourself which are not supportive, helpful or encouraging, redirect it onto something very simple such as counting each time you breathe out. In time you’ll be introducing it to more involved and more favourable thoughts. And before you know it you’ll find that you can think whatever you want.
5. Better Strategies
Life is about defining what we want and looking for the best strategies to help us realise our goals. As we search, however, we must be humble enough to question our existing strategies, re-examining them as we go. But we need not search alone. We are fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who can offer us the benefit of their wisdom. Their presence in our lives is invaluable. They may not be easy to spot, but they are inclined to say ‘Thank you’ when you compliment them.
6. The Power Of Intention
It’s possible, of course, that both examples were just coincidences; each one a chance occurrence. But if you accept the premise that coincidence played no part, then a different world opens up. One in which you have more power than you thought. Moreover, when that power is focused and you understand the process, a calmness descends, allowing you to appreciate a more in-tune version of the world. It’s a moving experience because, when we observe the effects of clarity and intention in such a way, we can almost feel ourselves evolving.
7. Are You Still Breathing?
As he said to me, when your mind has rule over you, or your emotions have taken hold; when chaos reigns, or you have simply lost your way, the procedure is simple. Ask yourself one question: Am I still breathing? The answer will be yes, so focus your attention there. Breathe. And then observe. Observe your breathing, observe yourself and observe your situation. In that quiet, attentive way you will find your way back to your centre and be able to act, react and respond more effectively.
8. Listen to Yourself
Research does tell us to exercise some caution with our intuition. There are times when blind faith in our intuitive responses will definitely lead us astray. However, the more we listen to ourselves and the more we observe, the better we become at discerning when to be confident and when to double check; when to have the courage to speak and when to hold back. It takes practice and awareness. And it starts by listening closely to your self.
9. The Ivy Of Conditioning
That’s all personal development is. Clearing away, again and again, the conditioning which intrudes on our existence. Granted, not all conditioning is destructive. Many of the rules we learn from an early age are designed to help us negotiate the difficult landscapes we encounter as we grow and develop. But until we identify the precise nature of our conditioning, there is nothing we can do about it. The ivy is easy to spot, but even the residents of my old street did little to disentangle their trees. One wonders how much they ever did to disentangle themselves. Maybe one or two of them saw us through the window that night and made a promise to themselves to strip away the layers which prevent life from blossoming. I like to think they did.
10. It All Comes Down To This
Routine. Procedures. Establish them and stick to them, always. You need people around you. Take their support and seek their feedback. Relax. Breathe. Be disciplined. Build foundations. Verbalise. Plan, prepare and predict. Persevere when you want to give in, because you are closer than you think. Take your time and be gentle with yourself. It’s a process. Be clear. Check your intention before you commit. When you commit, give everything. Decide your goals. Yours. Write them down. Continue writing. Observe. Reflect. Distill your experiences into learning points. Learn them. Live them. Listen to yourself. Quietly. You have all the answers. Make a connection and create relationships. Contribute to people’s lives and see their humanity. Work at it. Use your to-do list and celebrate your achievements. See your progress. Own it. Know that you will succeed. What is your vision? Serve. Love yourself and others. Challenge yourself and others. And remain balanced. And beautiful.
Day, after day, after day.