I went to London to see my friends. I had a great time. At Ed’s on Saturday I felt the same as last weekend. We had a good day together; relaxed, chatty, friendly and comfortable. Ed noticed a difference in me and remarked how content I seem. He’s right. There was none of the negativity and passivity which have been prominent in my life for many years. As I keep proving to myself time and again, I can.
The party in the evening was much the same. It is always the case with good friends that no matter how long the intervening time has been, whenever I see them again we all slip so effortlessly into the friendship, and things are as comfortable as always. Saturday night was no exception. And for me it was wonderful not to withdraw. Just like last weekend I enjoyed the pastiming. I enjoyed the company. It was particularly lovely to see Eric, Ed and Peter again.
The experience was another example of the changes which have occurred in me. Changes do not occur overnight. They are part of a seamless pattern of progress. Sometimes, there is a temptation to try too hard, but I can only be the person I am in each present moment, rather than a projection of who I think I’d like to be. There’s no need to orchestrate my behaviour. I can just relax and do whatever I feel like because I am a good person, doing my best to be a better person.
Ed said to me on Sunday afternoon, ‘Everybody said you were on good form’. It was true. I haven’t been on form like this for years. It was lovely to see everyone. I’ve worked hard to be who I am and it was heart-warming to receive positive feedback from my closest friends; people I love and trust and who have known me through thick and thin.