I talked to Karaj about his peace and agony in life. There is no escape from life and there are battles to face right until the end. No greater than facing pain and becoming detached from it so that we can die peacefully with a genuine smile on our face. He told me the story of the women who lay dying in bed and told her teacher that she was ready to go. He replied that she was not ready. She suffered for a further two years before she died. Only detachment from my pain will prepare me for death.
We also talked about my clarity at 14; questioning life and wanting to know the truth. That clarity must have been there at an even younger age, but I can’t recall my childhood at all well. Karaj had the same issue until he began to take his therapy seriously. When he put his arse on the line and cornered himself, the memories of his childhood came back to him, triggered by having similar experiences as a grown up. One day I will see my childhood clearly, but first I must put my arse on the line.