Yesterday’s disciplined attempt to eat less was foiled twice, by Karaj and then Hariett bringing food for me. I gave in, falling back on my please others driver to justify eating what they had brought. How much different and stronger I would have felt had I stuck to my discipline.
Talked to Karaj about my emotions. Karaj verbalises his negativity, I dump mine on people expecting to be rescued, instead of following procedures and doing whatever I do with all my heart and soul. Connecting with Ishwar’s work in yesterday’s supervision – turning chaos into order by cleaning up his new client files – what I need to do is turn my emotions into procedures.
Wrote the letter to Francis. Two days ago I had phoned him and concluded that he has taken very well to the procedures I introduced him to, but seems to want to go it alone. Writing the letter helped me to see how I also think I can do it alone. It also helped me to see my contribution to Francis. Read it to Karaj and he said send it. Worked well for the rest of the day and evening while Karaj sat next door with clients. Things are definitely moving and I am slowly getting myself organised. Still need to remind myself what I want.