Some of my problems are rooted in my desire for people to like me. I’m not a desperate case but I do notice the prominence of a need for the confirmation of others. It’s not that I dislike myself but it is clear there is a lack of something inside for me to look for it outside. I am not yet comfortable with who I am – not yet at ease with myself.
If it were some sort of (survival) strategy, then looking for and receiving praise and confirmation from others might mean I wouldn’t have to work so hard on myself. But I do. It may be that I don’t praise myself (enough). It is not in my nature to praise myself and I do tend to put the feelings of others first. Well, I’m intelligent enough to know that this has to change. I must learn to attend to my own needs and to praise myself where possible.
Today, for example, I have done very well to get up early, do my exercises and walk the four miles to work. It is a beautiful day and I am a beautiful person. I am a greater person than I give myself credit for. Others can see it so it should be obvious to me. A relevant point, however, is that both my cultural script and elements of my family script have a tendency towards negativity. I need to break out of that negative conditioning and emphasise the positives.