06.00 E&M. Feeling very tired today and my knees are hurting. Don’t give up. Karaj suggested that we do some physical work. I agreed because I know what’s good for me but all the while we discussed the plans for the day my head was saying nothing but ‘sleep, sleep, sleep…’. I wondered where the energy was going to come from to do the jobs of the day.
After about half an hour of work I slowly began to wake up and we had a very productive morning. Again, during and immediately after the meal my thoughts were with my tiredness. Nevertheless, we went straight back to work and had an even more productive afternoon.
One of the most beautiful aspects of our day together was the lack of unnecessary conversation. Communication was limited to that which needed to be said in order to complete our tasks. There was minimal communication but the connection was ever-present.
There had been no need for me to worry about my lack of energy because the more I became involved in my work the more energised I became. It is a paradox which fascinates me – if I’m tired, move. It is a particularly difficult one because when I’m tired, the last thing I want to do is move.
We finished in time for me to lie-down for half an hour before going dancing. After Tuesday I was determined to make more of an effort to dance. I had struggled to get involved the other night and, in a similar way to the above paradox, I realised that in order to shake myself out of my unwillingness to dance I had to force myself to dance. That’s exactly what I did and it worked. I felt more assertive than usual, because of my determination to dance. It was a very enjoyable night
What a full day I have had. And it all started with me thinking that all I was good for was sleep. Now, that really is MF. During the day I found a book of quotations and stumbled across the following words which seem particularly relevant to me at the moment:
‘He who has firm will moulds the world to himself.’
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
‘He who deliberates fully before taking a step, will spend his entire life on one leg.‘
Chinese Proverb
‘Patience is the companion of wisdom.’
St. Augustine
‘We would worry less about what others think of us if we realised how seldom they do.‘
Ethel Barnet