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Default Setting: Everyone Is Okay

I welcomed Simran, made tea for him and Karaj, and the three of us sat together. Karaj dictated a long...

My Mind At Work

I was tempted, out of loyalty to Karaj, not to publish this post because it accuses him of manipulation and...

My True Self

I am still moving quickly between leaving and staying. Focusing on my body helps me to forget, but the feelings...

I Question Everything

Woke up and immediately felt shit at being where I am. Got ready and got out. At my counselling appointment...

Anger Where There Could Be Love

I read the letter written for me by Leon, George and Calvin. They are angry with me for not being...

Decide What I Want & Follow It

My first thoughts on waking were what a waste of my time and energy clubbing is; and I am not...

Realisations Among Friends

Yesterday Aubrey and I headed up to Manchester for Sonny’s belated stag weekend. Aubrey was lovely company. I talked to...

Deciding In Every Instant

Karaj talked to Ishwar about me as if I weren’t there. The implication was that I am not going to...

Negativity & Being Yourself

Karaj, Shona, Ishwar and I met to plan the day. We talked about being yourself – especially in other cultures...

It Could Be A Lot Worse

During my counselling appointment this morning, I talked about how I am trying to be with my body, the pain...

I Need To Win

After breakfast, I looked at my Vivekananda books: ‘We are responsible for who we are, because we have the power...

Lifting The Heaviness

I woke up at some stage in the night disappointed that I am not moving back to Germany. I have...

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