When planning today’s work on the corridor roof I showed no responsibility. I was too worried about getting it wrong. Emotions. Simran’s involvement caused confusion, which was seen by Ishwar when he arrived but not verbalised forcefully enough by him.
Karaj talked about the implications of the course he is currently on and how the office must survive without him at times. He made it clear that this is down to me and at the moment I am not doing enough to ensure that. There is no reporting and I am not working to my capacity. He added that I will run away just like Robert did. In response I personalised it rather than considering Karaj’s position too. My emotions were taking over but there was also a feeling of rising to the challenge to stay, work, sort myself out and run the office. That’s where my focus needs to be. When I am in charge I am effective, when I am emotional I am not in charge.
Karaj continued where he had left off yesterday:
‘A year ago you knew just what I needed, now you are so arrogant that you don’t even hear me. You don’t have fun anymore, no wonder everything you do is wrong. I don’t know where anything is anymore. You are in charge and everyone knows that you are in charge, so why do you act as if you are not in charge? Take the acknowledgement for what you have created (here). You deserve it. You’re doing well. Keep that in mind rather than what I am saying to you. The reason I am telling you all of it is so you can prepare rather than get caught out. If you weren’t good I wouldn’t have you here. Not even for a minute.’