My weekend starts today with a visit back home. I shall spend a day there and return on Saturday evening. It gives me another chance to observe what happens to me when I’m there, but the rest of the weekend to re-focus myself. During this afternoon’s meeting we talked about observations of behaviour. I find it difficult to observe not just myself but also other people.
Kuldip told me how he noticed me switch on my charm in the presence of Michelle. It also emerged that, during last year’s counselling course, one of the female attendees had requested a transfer, citing me as a distraction. Karaj explained that because the woman was high in Parent ego state, it had been nothing more than a parental request to ensure that she gained the maximum possible learning from the opportunity.
It is true that I behave differently with women but I did not realise it was that obvious. I find it easier to get on with women because there is no competitive atmosphere. With men, especially my peers, there can be an air of competition about get-togethers. This is prevalent among males of all species in the natural world and humans are no exception.
I’m pleasant to men but I’m charming with women. I thought there was not much of a difference between the two behaviour patterns, but after hearing today’s feedback, there is clearly a big difference. As it would be inadvisable, not to mention difficult, for me to be charming with men, the best way to achieve consistency will be to be pleasant to women. Just pleasant.