Still Complacent
June 3, 2001
6.30 E&M 90 mins. I walked to the house this afternoon and felt the same resentment as yesterday for the disturbance to my withdrawal. At the house I enjoyed Kuldip’s
6.30 E&M 90 mins. I walked to the house this afternoon and felt the same resentment as yesterday for the disturbance to my withdrawal. At the house I enjoyed Kuldip’s
In the morning I went to the launderette and for a walk in the park. As yesterday, I felt weak and hungry (from the fasting) but with no appetite. Spoke
6.15 E&M 60 mins. I nearly didn’t make it out of bed. I was sorely tempted to go back to sleep. At the house I read Karaj’s latest feedback on
On the way to the house I pondered my subdued mood. For the short time with Kuldip yesterday I had felt good and of some use. But today I have
06.30 E&M. My mind seems to be trying to wear me down with its attempts at negativity. It is succeeding to an extent but not without me noticing. I am
06.30 E&M. One important insight which I had whilst I was still half asleep was that I caught my mind going through its search program looking for negatives from last
06.00 E&M. The routine felt very good this morning – hardly any discomfort. As I got out of bed, however, the first thought I had was that I can’t do
6.40 E&M and a walk in the park before breakfast. At the house I talked to Karaj. He told me to be sharp, strong and firm with everybody who enters
Arrived at the house to find my latest feedback (29.03 – 02.04). Whilst it has not depressed me reading Karaj’s comments, it has confirmed to me what I have said
Returned to England this morning. The goodbye to Francis itself was no problem. Things felt much better because we talked last night. However, as I write I can feel all